


Steven vs the Big Prick

by Chemical_King_01



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Double Entendre, One Shot, Suggestive humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 00:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chemical_King_01/pseuds/Chemical_King_01
Summary: Fed up with Kevin acting like a jerk, Steven tries to give him his just desserts. Also posted on FanFiction.net.





	Steven vs the Big Prick

Steven and Connie were walking along the beach, spotting and categorizing the different seashells that washed up on the shore, with Steven cracking shell related puns every once in a while. The two were laughing and enjoying each the company of each other.

“I guess calling them sand dollars makes cents when you put it that way,” said Steven, making a pun. Suddenly, the young half Gem ceased his joking and looked straight ahead, a serious expression on his face.

Noticing the sudden change in Steven’s demeanor, Connie asked, “Steven? What’s wrong?”

The serious expression still on his face, Steven wordlessly pointed a few feet ahead of them; it was Sadie, the Cool Kids, Kiki and Ronaldo, all gathered together on the beach. Just in front of them, gesturing condescendingly and a smug expression on his face, was Kevin, Beach City’s local jerk. Appearing to be nothing more than pretty boy teen, Kevin has hassled both Connie and Steven as Stevonnie, creating animosity between the two parties. When they last met each other, Kevin was in a pool after chasing Lion. Today, it seemed that Kevin decided to share his brand of jerk with the other teens.

“Looks like Kevin is at again,” Steven sighed with slight irritation in his voice.

“Come on Steven, just ignore him. Never ever good has ever happened from interacting with Kevin,” Connie urged, tugging the boy’s shoulder in the opposite direction.

Rather than move along and let things be, a devilish smile spread across Steven’s face. “Or, we could take Kevin down a couple of pegs.”

“Steven…”

“Hear me out Connie. Someone has to teach him that being jerk has consequences. If not for us, do it for the others,” Steven said, gesturing to the teens before them. “Protecting others from bullies is practically what being a Crystal Gem is about; I can’t afford to turn other cheek like this. I promise no powers, no violence, just a little prank with a lesson attached to it.”

Connie thought it over a minute, and then looked to the group, clearly fed up with Kevin and his smug antics. While ignoring him would be the best option, someone had to put him in his place. 

“Alright, go do it. Just remember, karma is a two-way streak. I hope for your sake that you’re doing this for a just cause.”

Giving a thumbs-up, the young Gem rushed towards the teens, making sure to keep his steps silent up until he got close enough to Kevin. Luckily, Kevin had his back turned and the others were distracted with Kevin being obnoxious to notice Steven’s presence. It was time for Steven to act.

“…and that is why my family makes more money than you all ever will in your lifetimes,” Kevin bragged, nose held up high.

“Wow, I don’t remember ever asking you. I also don’t remember asking you to waste thirty minutes of our time explaining it to us!” Jenny exclaimed, frustration boiling over. The rest of the group agreed with her as they started to yell at the teenage jerk.

Sensing his opportunity, Steven’s hands shot out and grabbed the waistline of Kevin’s jeans. With a hard yank and no hesitation whatsoever, Steven pulled Kevin’s pants and underwear all the way down to his ankles, exposing the braggart in the most literal way possible.

“What the-” Kevin cried, utterly flabbergasted at the situation, unable to react fast enough.

The others could only manage collective gasps at the now bottomless Kevin.

Steven merely grinned, pleased with himself. “Was that harsh? Well, that should teach you to treat others with respect. Otherwise, you might find yourself getting dissed yourself.”

Unexpectedly, rather than any type of scorn to back Steven’s statement up, there were more gasps, only this time in awe.

“Wow…didn’t expect to see that,” Kiki muttered.

“I…er…uh…I’m not even sure what to say…I’m just impressed,” sputtered Sadie.

“So…I guess that explains where Kevin gets all his confidence from,” assessed Buck, Sour Cream nodding in agreement.

“I wish I had that much ‘confidence’,” Ronaldo intoned wistfully.

“Uh…what just happened? Did someone learn a lesson?” Steven asked, confused at the situation at hand.

“Here’s a lesson for you squirt,” Kevin said, turning his face to give a wink and a thumbs-up, undeterred by his pants less state. “Even when Kevin loses, Kevin still wins in the end. With that in mind, think your little pranks through before going out and trying to embarrass people next time.”

Steven could only blush uncomfortably; he deeply regretted his actions and wished he listened to Connie in the first place, especially the part about karma.


End file.
